NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER (NPD): Got One of These in Your Life?

by Helen Borel, RN,PhD

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) pathology is the failure of the individual to behave
in a mature manner, and failure to show genuine concern for others. Classically, the NPD entity is incapable of caring about you...or anyone else!  He/She exploits others’ time, concern, generosity, feelings.  Such creatures feel ZERO for what you and all others experience.  And they really
do not care when they hurt, hamper, inconvenience and destroy you and others. This entity is
The Classic Monster = ME-ME-ME.

They are ENTITLED to whatever they envy, and you deserve nothing.

Unfortunately for such SELF-DEFICIENT characters, there’s nothing inside them to offer others ...or, sadly, even themselves.  You make a grave mistake when you assume – because of the NPD creature’s good looks, oily charm, and superficial intellect – that you are dealing with a genuine
human being. You are not!  They look like regular people, but they are not!

NPDs are Fake People. They feign “suffering” but they don’t really suffer. They, however,
constantly complain about how others have done them wrong.  Parents, co-workers, sisters,
brothers, ex-spouses (and there are often a number of these), “friends”...all fall victim to the NPD's shriveled ego which masquerades as pride, hubris, self-superiority and gross Self-ENTITLEMENT.
As a result of her/his distorted character, you can expect (if you are unfortunate enough to get
entangled with such) major manipulations of your time, your concerns, your sincerity, your finances.

When you feel uncomfortable around such an entity...when you feel anger rising in you under, what
externally appears, ordinary circumstances...there IS something wrong. You are being had!  You
are being verbally twisted!  You are being manipulated by the one-way goal of the NPD individual.
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Again, I emphasize, The NPD individual does NOT care about you, nor about anyone else.
The NPD entity is merely A CARICATURE of a human.  He/she manages to imitate being a real  human (education, appearance, work).  Be smart.  Don’t be fooled.  Because “being human" means
one has Empathy and a Conscience.  Both are grossly absent in the NPD.

Knowing such are without a conscience and without empathy, consider the NPD type a Monster.  But, always in disguise, appearing human, appearing real. Therefore, you are in great emotional and financial peril if you get suckered into a relationship with such...be it in a job, in a
love, in a healthcare, or a business relationship.  The thing these types are highly skilled at is EXPLOITATION of others.  Others includes You.  And they laugh about it because they believe
they got over on you. (In most cases it's true, they did.) That’s their biggest thrill of all.  Strangely, NPDs are less intent on the exploitative goal they were after (though, believe me, they
want that too) than on having fooled you, hurt you, disappointed  you.

Think about that extremely wealthy Bernie Madoff.  (He made off with other people’s money.
His last name aptly describes what this empty character did.)  He didn’t need more money. 
He simply needed the thrill of fooling others. This is the major coup.  Remember the twinkle
in his eye when he was finally caught? Yes, he’s a cross between a Psychopath and an NPD.
Ergo, the NPD has many features of  psychopathy, particularly an absent or extremely 
weak conscience. There appears a visible joy in these two-legged monsters when they hurt, disappoint, cheat and damage others...particularly-> they revel in tricking others.

WATCH OUT for These DISTRESSING FEELINGS and REACTIONS in YOURSELF when    you assume you are interacting with a Real Human Person...but he/she is an Empty NPD:
1) You give too much extra time to hear out what seem, at first, legitimate complaints about others
    ...even though the NPD-loser knows, very well, she/he is wasting your time with hogwash.
2) Feeling rising anger during his/her verbal forays and tangled “explanations” that lead nowhere
    and waste your time.
3) Experiencing Increasing Annoyance and Befuddlement as the NPD Manipulates You verbally,
    screws up appointments, lies about “illnesses,” preys on Your Empathy but never benefits or               improves her/his outlook or behavior from anything you say or do to help them.

GROSS MANIPULATIONS OF YOUR TIME AND CARING
1) Blowing off an appointment with you without notice...and...
2) Not picking up their phone, when a no-show, nor explaining the lapse
3) Lying to you about non-existent illnesses
4) Laughing about others’ “lower intelligence,” imperfect execution of their jobs and overt
    disdain for all others.  Seems only the NPD is perfect.
    Psychologically, yes...A Perfect Personality Mistake!!!
5) Jealousy of others’ accomplishments, ‘though making zero effort to achieve such themselves.
6) Blatant lying while acting clueless about the obvious to you both, with zero capacity to
    admit wrongs or to apologize.

DON’T GET BAMBOOZLED by the NPD NON-PERSON  At first, it’s very difficult to recognize these, what I call, “human monsters”.  I mean, they look human, but their actions and inactions
belie this.  That’s because of their superficial traits – good looks, manipulative “charm,” and surface “intellect”.  So keep a keen eye open and your emotions on hold when you meet new individuals.

Remember, the NPD experiences NOTHING, feels NOTHING for you!  Therefore, you can’t benefit at all from trying to relate to such an EMPTY entity that never feels Empathy.  Lacking
empathy means what’s inside this creature is EMPTINESS.

The only “E” word the NPD character knows is EXPLOITATION...of your time, of your caring,
of your knowledge, of your achievements, of your money.  And the Narcissistic Personality Disordered being has ZERO capacity to change for the better.  Got one of these in your life?
Get away fast!

Often, we assume certain emotional/social/behavioral “frailties” will burn out as the afflicted
pass middle age.  That their interactions with family, co-workers, others gets more mature,
less me-me-me. as they age.   However, the NPD seems stubbornly fixed on destroying others
for self-aggrandizement even into old age.

Crucial: If you're NPD-entangled, in any way ~ family/friend/work/love ~ LEAVE and LIVE AGAIN!

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(c) Copyright 2017 Dr. Helen Borel. All rights reserved.